


omissions, admissions

by tothemoon



Category: Free!
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Gift Work, M/M, Post-Series, disgustingly in love, im not sure what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 13:37:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2734571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothemoon/pseuds/tothemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are all of the unsent love letters, given keepsakes, and moments leading up to the day Haruka tells Makoto, <i>‘I’m going to Tokyo, too.’</i></p><p>(Or, all of the different ways Haruka dotes on Makoto during and after a particularly stressful exam season.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	omissions, admissions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soibro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soibro/gifts).



> For Gemma, because her makoharu headcanons prove both cuddly and dangerous at the same time. Her idea for the twirly hugs, a blubbering Makoto, and post-Tokyo-confession smoochin' inspired this random one shot, and some of the drama CD material supplanted bits of the other!

* * *

 

Haruka wonders if a heartfelt letter is still considered _heartfelt_ if there’s more scribbles on it than _actual_ words.

 

_~~Makoto, do well on your exam and come to Tokyo with me.~~ _

_~~I’m going to Tokyo, too. Don’t fail your exam.~~ _

_~~This plane ticket will be a waste if you don’t do well.~~ _

 

When Haruka knows that none of these words feel right, he just crumples up his letter altogether and decides that he’s just not meant to write _heartfelt letters_. Slumping down at his desk, tapping his pen on the tabletop while reaching for another clean sheet of paper, Haruka wonders why it has been so hard to say, _‘Hey, I’m going to Tokyo, too,’_ without feeling so wrong about it.

"I'm going to Tokyo, too," he says to himself again, for what feels like the twentieth time in a single evening. Absentmindedly, he starts scribbling a sketch of his best friend in an attempt to somehow work through this dilemma. 

Haruka knows it's not even a matter of regretting his choices about Tokyo, or fearing that Makoto might not like the news. In fact, he's sure Makoto would be happy about the announcement, he might even cry if the moment really catches him off guard, but that's just it: Haruka imagines the aftermath of initial celebratory hug and kiss.

Haruka thinks saying _'I'm going to Tokyo, too,'_ would mean a couple of things. Firstly:

 _The pressure is on now. Here's a little more stress to make you feel better about things_.

He thinks about how Makoto is pulling another near all-nighter tonight, how he might fall asleep on top of his books again, and how he has been subsisting on black tea and late-night instant ramen more often than not. With every vocabulary drill, unsolved math problem, and ripped-out workbook page, Haruka knows his best friend does not need another reason for _stress._

Secondly, saying _'I'm going to Tokyo, too'_ could also serve as an ill-advised distraction.

Because it's not like Haruka hasn't thought of what their life would be like together in the city, with shared umbrellas and apartments and _maybe_ a pet cat, if Makoto isn't satisfied with some low-maintenance house plants. Would Makoto imagine their first time in their new bed, or going out on dinner dates, or taking baths together in a tub that was too small, much in the same way Haruka has for the past couple of weeks since sending in his papers and making his calls?

As Haruka puts the finishing touches on a sketch of Makoto's face, he finds that the answer is, well, _yes_. _Yes, to everything_ —so, in an attempt to avoid being both an additional pressure and a potential distraction, Haruka decides that this maybe isn't the best time to tell Makoto, _'You know, I'm going to Tokyo, too.'_

With a sigh, Haruka holds up the drawn picture of his best friend. For once, he's not completely unsatisfied with the result. He usually likes a bit of precision with his drawings anyway, whether it means doodling dolphins on the margins of his notebook, or rendering a mascot for the swim club, but Haruka finds that he pays extra attention to whenever he draws his best friend. 

"Work hard, Makoto." he mumbles, offering a small smile, curiously poking at his drawn nose.

And it might not as good as the real thing, and it might not compare to the gravity of a confession like _‘I’m going to Tokyo, too,’_ but he thinks it might make a nice good luck charm _,_ a small present to say, _'I'll be here for you.'_

 

* * *

 

On Haruka’s blank fortune at the shrine, he makes the following demands while he thinks no one is looking:

 

**_A full test score._ **

**_A big-enough tub for two in Tokyo._ **

**Makoto.**

And it’s okay if he doesn’t get the tub, or if it’s beyond expectations to _actually_ get a full score on a national standardized exam with thousands of other kids scrambling to do the same.

But well, the _Makoto_ part is kind of important.

Haruka wanders off into the crowd while the others are too busy filling out their wishes for the new year. He holds the slip of paper up to his face and kisses Makoto's name, his lips barely brushing against the paper, but he knows it's enough for any god or spirit to get the message.

 

* * *

 

“A paper crown?” 

“Yes.”

Haruka finishes taping the construction paper together around Makoto’s head as the other boy just laughs and accepts it. Haruka is currently on hour four of _keeping Makoto company_ at the Tachibana residence, and the two of them have gotten rather distracted with each instance of kissing, mindless doodling, and half-finished games of _tic-tac-toe._ This impromptu _coronation_ has just been another one of their diversions, and with a short nod of the head Haruka declares: 

“You are the king of five-circle bubble sheets. You specialize in ruling over Iwatobi.”

Makoto tilts his head to the side in apparent confusion, the flimsy coronet about to fall right off his head.

“Why _just_ Iwatobi?” Makoto asks. “Wouldn’t you want me to be the king of Japan?”

“But then you wouldn’t get Iwatobi-chan’s blessing.”

“ _What?_ ”

“He’s the god that looks over five-circle answer sheets.” Haruka says, like all of this is _a-matter-of-fact._ “But only in Iwatobi. His luck is supreme, though, so that's okay.” 

Makoto adjusts the crown on his head and blinks a couple of times at Haruka, trying to mask what clearly is a befuddled frown.

“Haru...just _where_ are you getting this from?”

Haruka shrugs about it. “It was in my dream last night.”

“Ah.” Makoto just laughs a little bit and nods, resting his cheek on the back of his hand. “Okay, this explains things a little more,” he says. “Go on.”

"I was a fisherman on the docks." Haruka continues, staring mindlessly at the ceiling and tracing fish with the wave of his index finger. "And one day, after a storm, I saved Iwatobi-chan from the ocean. He said he was on a journey..." Haruka lets his eyes linger on Makoto before going on, when he realizes that the other boy has been staring straight at him instead of his books, eyes lowered in an evening's worth of dreaminess. There's a wide smile on Makoto's face that makes Haruka blush like crazy.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" He mumbles, interrupting himself.

Makoto just laughs a little bit without snapping out of it. "Was I?"

"You were. You _still_ are." Haruka pokes Makoto on the nose to get him to snap out of it, but he doesn’t.

"I always like hearing you talk about your dreams." Makoto muses. "You always get really into it...and it's kinda cute."

Haruka frowns a bit. "I'm done," he says curtly, to save himself any further embarrassment.

"Haru!" Makoto envelops Haruka in a hug from the side, burying his head in the cove of Haruka's neck and laughing softly. Haruka can feel the bristles of his wet hair poke against his skin, Makoto's head shaking over and over in a wordless attempt at saying, _'Please go on! I'm sorry I made you self-conscious.'_

Haruka sighs and wraps his arms around Makoto, humming softly as he tries to remember his place in the story. After a little while, Makoto just leans more of his weight against Haruka, all to the point where they've both pulled each other down to the ground, lying in each other's arms.

"Iwatobi-chan got tired, because he had been travelling for months up until I saved him." Haruka tells Makoto softly, like he's resuming a bedtime story, flicking a stray eyelash off the other boy's face in the process. Makoto already has this boyish look about him, certainly innocent, and bright enough for the both of them, but there's just something a little more tender from the way he's half asleep at this point, wearing this ridiculous little paper crown on his head, and listening to the half-coherent dreams of a childhood friend.

Haruka's beginning to get sleepy too, but he tells himself he won't fall asleep before he gets to watch Makoto do it first.

"And what happened next?" Makoto asks, in a small voice, his words bobbing between a whisper and the usual lightness.

"He said, 'I have an offer to make you. Take on my mission. I'll make it worth your while.'"

"M-hm..." Makoto closes his eyes, a smile still holding against the daze of pre-sleep. "And?"

“Iwatobi-chan told me if I found the rightful king of five-circle answer sheets, he’d bring a lot of good luck.” Haruka states.

“Wouldn’t you want that luck for yourself?” 

“No, I told him I didn’t need it.”

“So you’ve chosen _me_?” Makoto lingers just a little bit closer to Haruka, kissing him in all drowsy sweetness, momentarily bold for someone about to black out altogether. Haruka throws his arms over him, dragging himself closer and pressing his lips against him. He closes his eyes as Makoto wraps an arm around his waist, both of them more than obliging to engage in lazy, sleepy kisses.

“Yes.” Haruka answers him in a whisper as they separate, their faces still kept close. They're _both_ ready to pass out by now, lulled by the thought of dreams, the warmth of oversized hoodies and entangled limbs.

Makoto's the first one to fall asleep though, his eyes fluttering open and closed until he's completely out. Haruka just sighs and kisses him lightly on the forehead, tossing away the silly little crown altogether.

"Good night...Haru..." Makoto mumbles before completely going under. Maybe he's already having a dream.

"Good night." Haruka whispers back.

But rather than any concocted dream or tidbit of imagined folklore, Haruka finds himself falling asleep to the thought of Tokyo. When he thinks about it, he knows it's going to be an adventure, one to rival any fairy tale about gods of good fortune and epic quests. A new land for two.

_A king just for him._

Makoto's previous question lingers like the smell of warm honey and milk.

_'’So, you've chosen me?'_

Haruka takes a hold of Makoto's hand before he really drifts off into sleep.

"Yes." Haruka whispers. “I’ve chosen you."

 

* * *

 

The experts say it's useless to study the night before a huge test, but Makoto hasn't paid them any mind. This is apparent when he comes to the door to greet Haruka, with a book practically pressed to his nose and smudged-up glasses that say, _'Why, yes, I haven't taken a break in hours_.'

"No."

This is the first thing Haruka says to Makoto all evening, tearing the book down from his face and taking it from him altogether, tucking it under his arm. "You cheated." Haruka's _actually_ disappointed, because Makoto had promised him he'd try to relax this last week before the exam this weekend, but he can't say he _doesn't_ understand.

Makoto frowns a bit, pushing his glasses right back up his face. "Ah, I know, and I'm so sorry, Haru, but I got _really_ antsy about the history portion of the exam this afternoon, so I thought that maybe I didn't study enough, and..."

Haruka just grabs his face and kisses him softly to calm him down. He usually saves these sorts of kisses for when they're in private, but this is a special exception, a mission to tell Makoto, _'you know, I think it's time for you to take that break now.'_

"Makoto." Haruka breathes out softly, visible breath escaping to the tune of each syllable. "You're ready." 

Makoto sighs and wraps his hands around Haruka's wrists, keeping them placed on his face, his cheeks lightly squished.

"And how do you know that?" Makoto asks.

"Because you're _Makoto._ " Haruka says bluntly. "Because you work hard." 

Haruka gives him another kiss.

"Because my good luck charms are one-hundred percent foolproof."

Another kiss comes in between Makoto's emerging laughter.

"And because I believe in you." Haruka finishes, his voice small and shy but every bit full in the type of confidence that Makoto lacks sometimes, because Haruka knows, innately, that this isn’t just an exam that he’s worried about. As Makoto drinks in the view of him, blatant as blatant can get in these trying times, with a squint in his eye that’s probably tinged with the thought of something unpleasant, Haruka wishes he could just tell him now. _I’m going to Tokyo._ He wishes he could tell him, ‘ _It’s fine, because we’re going to be together,’_ and _‘Don’t look so sad about this,’_ but he doesn’t. Because at the end of the day, as much as Haruka doesn’t mind holding Makoto’s hand when he really needs it, as much as he doesn’t mind whispering his reassurances, he really does believe in him. The rest will follow accordingly. 

So without a word about Tokyo, he just lifts himself up to whisper in his ear, to deliver another sort of message. It’s rare enough when it comes out of his mouth, certainly still a little awkward to say altogether, but it’s something Makoto should get to hear despite Haruka’s usual reservations. Leaving a little kiss against his cheek as a bookend to his whispered _‘I love you,’_ Haruka thinks that this should be enough for now.

In response, Makoto shows the first smile Haruka's seen all day and wraps his best friend in a hug, burying his head in his shoulder.

"Haru..." Makoto says simply, probably a mix of _too tired_ and _too nervous_ to really say much else. He crouches down to pick up his fallen workbook and hands it back to Haruka.

"And you're right. I should rest." Makoto says. "Take this away from me."

Haruka shakes his head. "No need."

Makoto just laughs. "All right. But could we do one more thing, before tomorrow?"

"Okay."

"Will you take me to see the stars again?" Makoto asks.

"The stars?"

"Yeah...I mean, to be honest, those walks have been my favorite parts of the evening."

Haruka can't help but let his eyes light up at the remark, but he resists the great urge to say, _'Really? Something as small as that?'_

"Ah...sure." Haruka says instead, feigning something resembling nonchalance. "Get your coat."

Makoto nods. "Okay! I'll be right back, then."

With the door shut closed behind Makoto, Haruka just shows him the smallest smile of his own, one too easily relented than usual. He then realizes that they've _all_ been easily relented lately, at least the couple of months since Makoto started completely stressing out during his studies. Haruka tries to figure out what the word for all of this is—the smiles, the stargazing, the random trips to his house, the paper crowns, the drawings, the hot tea runs, the good luck charms—and he settles on the only word he thinks he _can_ use for this. _Doting._

Haruka has been _doting_ on Makoto.

"All right, ready to go—oh, are you okay, Haru?" Makoto asks as he steps outside from his house, tilting his head to the side and drawing up a frown.

Haruka snaps out of his realization and nods in all honesty. If Makoto asks about the redness in his face, he'll just blame the cold.

"Are you sure?" Makoto asks again.

"Yeah." He answers him. "I'm sure.”

Haruka's the first to take his hand as they step out onto the road.

* * *

 

Haruka cracks a window to let the breeze waft into the empty classroom, sliding his arm across the desk to find Makoto’s trembling hand.

“I don’t want to go out there.” 

“You’ll be fine.”

“Will I, though?”

“Yeah.”

Makoto offers Haruka a small smile, but there’s no stopping the unsteadiness in his sighs.

The both of them stare out the window at the emptying courtyard outside. A makeshift wall has been erected for all the third years to assess their test results, and the crowd is beginning to thin out considerably for the two of them to check unbothered. Amongst the passing howls of, _‘yeah, I got in!’_ and some more anguished-sounding drawls, Haruka and Makoto decide that this is one of those moments they need to share with just each other.

And speaking of _moments they need to share with each other_ , Haruka intends to keep his hands held with Makoto for longer than that. The other boy is too much of a nervous wreck _not to_.

“Come on.” Haruka lightly tugs on Makoto’s blazer sleeve. “Let’s go." 

“I just need a little more time.” Makoto shakes his head.

“But they’re going to take the boards down, soon.”

“I just need a little while longer.” Makoto says again. “Just with you.”

With those last couple of words, Haruka relents and lets out a tiny sigh.

“We’ll go in three minutes, then.” 

Haruka leans back and looks back out at the courtyard. The sunset has bathed everything in a hazy orange today, a sight as sweet as a ripe tangerine, with the last of winter’s chill to leave them both comfortable in their disquiet. Makoto switches between staring outside at the sky and at Haruka, a speechless mess from all the things he obviously wants to say. But instead of talking, Makoto just sighs again, sliding the window open a little more to feel the air cool his reddened face.

“I can almost smell the chlorine. And sun. And cherry blossom petals.” He finally says with closed eyes, trying to distract himself.

“Can you?”

“Yeah.” Makoto laughs a little. “I’m just getting a little nostalgic, I guess.”

"We haven't even left yet."

"I know." Makoto switches his view back out onto the courtyard again. "I think I'm just being silly." 

When Haruka takes a deep breath himself, recognizing that subtle scent of an emerging spring, a season for all sorts of newness, he knows they can’t wait around in here forever. Because no matter how crisp their feels against their blushed cheeks, no matter how orange the sun looks here, _right now_ , in their comfortable little classroom, and no matter if this may be the last consecutive spring they see together in Iwatobi, they have to welcome all oncoming changes.

Because if things do change, at least they’ll be together.

Haruka sneaks a glance at his best friend, who’s taken to biting a fingernail with his eyes fixed on some dust on the window pane.

“We should go now.” Haruka squeezes Makoto’s hand a little bit tighter on the desk.  “Everyone’s gone.”

Makoto doesn’t move as Haruka gets out of his seat. Instead, he just opens and closes his mouth in all blankness, struggling with the right words to say. He smiles at Haruka in his unease and shakes his head. 

“I just…”

“Makoto.” Haruka urges softly, in a low and gentle voice.

“Will you entertain a thought for me?” Makoto asks. “Just one, and then we’ll go.”

“Okay.”

“If you think about it, a piece of paper is going to decide everything for the next couple of years.” He says. “ _A printed number_ on a single piece of paper.”

Haruka lowers his eyes. “But you worked hard for that printed number. I know you’ll get in.”

“I mean…” Makoto starts. “It’s not just a matter of _getting in._ I actually think I have a pretty good shot of that. It’s just…” his eyes linger up at Haruka, all at once tender and upset and unsure. There’s a certain glimmer in them, as if they’re ready to cry, something Haruka’s seen before in their youth, before their every _first_ and every _last_. Haruka personally thinks of today as a _first_ , the first foray into their new lives outside of Iwatobi, but he knows Makoto’s reading into it all like it’s the end of everything.

 _‘This might be one of the last days I get to sit with Haru like this,’_ Makoto is probably thinking.

 _‘But it won’t be.’_ Haruka wants to tell him back. _‘Just wait.’_

And with this, Haruka decides he is tired of sitting around. He gets up from his desk and swings over to Makoto's side, taking both of his hands and lifting him up from his seat. Makoto almost trips forward, but Haruka catches him in a hug, snug and short, a quick reassurance for the next ten or so minutes they’ll be spending like shaking messes in the courtyard.

 

* * *

 

**Dear Haru,**

**Ah, you know, this is probably not something I’m ever going to send out, because it’s really messy and disorganized...(I crossed out a lot, sorry) and I’d like to say these things in person (even if it takes a while) but, well, even if I don’t, I’d want to make sure I get this out to you. I know I have to say this to you somehow before we go our separate ways.**  

**So...here it goes.**

**This last winter has been really hard, studying for exams and all, and sometimes I’d tell myself to give up, close my books, and just go to bed. But I never did, because every time I thought about it, you were always there to push me onward. I know you’ll only say, “oh, it was nothing,” or that you haven’t doing anything special, but you have. Everything you’ve done...it means a lot to me. _You_ mean a lot to me.**

**So thank you, Haru. Thank you for taking me to see the stars when my eyes were heavy with sleep, and thank you for every cup of pick-me-up tea. Thank you for making me grilled mackerel with the seasoning I like, and thank you for every blanket you put over me when I fall asleep. Thank you for every kiss and hug and smile (even if you’re shy about it sometimes) and thank you for every time you’ve ever held my hand. Thank you for your good luck charms, which I’ll cherish forever, long after the exam is over, and thank you for...well, just thank you for _everything_.**

**Ah...well, to be honest, writing these sorts of things has made me a little sad. I know Tokyo’s the path for me, but I’m still getting used to the idea that you won’t be next to me…it makes me kinda teary? (Well, I’m not actually crying, but you know...well…here I go rambling...)**

**And you know how I told you that stargazing with you has been some of my favorite parts of the evening? Well, in all honesty, they're the only times I get to make my wishes.**  

**(Is it bad luck to say what I’m about to say? I guess it doesn’t matter?)**

**Every time, I've wished for you. Not to be with me in Tokyo, because it's not a matter of being together in the same place, but for us to be happy with whatever happens. And as much as I'll miss you from the physical distance, I think we'll still be happy. Happy because I get to be with you! It always works out for the best, doesn't it?**

**If only you could hear me groan about writing this letter! Ugh! This is definitely getting way too embarrassing. I don’t think I can send this to you, so I’m probably just writing to myself at this point! I'm getting so silly. I think it comes with growing up.**

 

**-Makoto**

* * *

 

_'I'm going to a university in Tokyo.'_

The thought of Makoto first saying this in the summer under _much_ different circumstances, plus imagining himself saying the same words now, gives Haruka this funny feeling in his stomach.

After an hour's worth of mostly silent meandering, the two of them have ended up at the ledge at the top of the hill, where the air still suspiciously smells of smoky gunpowder and the murmurs of an old argument still ring clear. Even after a few deep breaths, air mixed with the comfort of saltwater, Haruka decides that this particular place still makes him incredibly anxious. He's not even really sure what part of it makes him squirm, in all honesty, so he settles for _all of it_. He's uncomfortable with the concrete where he stamped his feet, the iron of a fence that still seems too cold to hang onto with bare hands, the fireworks that still make him flinch with the imagined sounds of each sizzling wheeze, but he knows he doesn't have to feel this way for much longer. _No_ , in fact, Haruka knows he doesn't have to wait another second longer. 

Because although he'll never forget where they had their first real fight, with the shoves and the shouting, Haruka knows that this also his chance to make this place new again.

"I got in." Makoto says for what feels like the hundredth time in a span of an hour, slumping over the railing of the fence by the sea, with Haruka beside him. He has his admissions letter still scrunched in one of his hands, and the dull vibration of his phone repeatedly sounds through his backpack. Haruka imagines that Makoto's parents are trying to call him, anxious to hear the news.

"Your mom and dad." Haruka observes, looking over at the knapsack slumped at Makoto's feet.

"I know." Makoto says, raising his gaze towards the sea.

"Just a little longer?" Haruka asks. _Before we go?_

"Yeah." Makoto nods. "I just need a little time to breathe."

Haruka scooches himself a bit closer to him and stares out at the night before them, half-expecting fireworks to welcome his oncoming announcement. But just he's about to open his mouth to say it, _'I'm going to a university in Tokyo too,'_ Makoto beats him in breaking their momentary silence.

“Haru.”

Their heads nearly knock together when Haruka turns to face him, and it's there when he gets a better look at him: Makoto's been crying about all of this, and it's something he should have noticed sooner.

"Ah." Makoto breathes out, wiping his face on the fabric of his blazer. "Sorry. I didn't want you to see."

Haruka sighs, raising a hand and pressing his thumb right under Makoto's eye.

"Makoto..."

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm _really_ happy right now, Haru. I'm _happy_ , I really am." Makoto blurts out to Haruka, smiling through the mess of tears. They're standing toe to toe in the same way he almost charged into Makoto during the fight, but this time Haruka's staying still, feet slightly raised off their heels.

"Okay...I mean, I didn't want to make a big deal about this, because it'll be fine, I know it will be, but...I'm going to miss this place, you know?" Makoto continues, his voice ebbing in and out of shakiness. "And it's not that I don't want to go to Tokyo. I do. I want to go...and I'll know we'll be okay wherever we both are...but..." He sniffles once more, interrupting himself in the process.

"That's not gonna stop me from missing you." Reluctantly, he lets a miserable little laugh escape from his lips. "I'm going to miss you, Haru."

Haruka just keeps his eyes on him, blinking. 

"And I know we'll still see each other for the holidays...and we could visit each other, if there's time...ah, I'm sorry, I don't mean to make a mess like this..." He looks all around, before shaking his head. "I'm starting to think this place is bad luck." Makoto chokes up a laugh.

"But it's not." Haruka refutes. He just raises himself a little higher to wipe off the freshest round of tears. "Because I never told you where I was going."

Makoto shrugs, shaking his head. He obviously hasn't gotten the point. "I mean, you have so many great schools courting you, and then there's Australia, you know, so..."

"But I'm not going to any of those places." Haruka can't help but smile a little bit, incredulous at the other boy’s tunnel vision, but Makoto is so busy wiping his face again that he hasn't noticed. Taking Makoto's hand, Haruka tugs on him in an effort to get him to _pay attention_ , to just look up for half a second, but there's just no use.

"I mean...then where...are you possibly..."

"Makoto." Haruka calls out to him softly, increasingly impatient. When he realizes just where this conversation is really about to go, Haruka covers his own mouth, still trapped in a grin he can't suppress, beneath the shield of his hand. _'Calm down,'_ he tells himself. _'It's time.'_

"Yeah?" Makoto hiccups loudly.

"Look up."

"I'm sorry Haru, I'm just...really..." He rubs his eyes once more, probably in an attempt to wipe away the remaining cloudiness in his vision. Haruka doesn't blame Makoto for being so flustered about this, since it's been years since he's actually _cried_ in front of him like a blubbering mess, and he's probably _embarrassed out of his mind,_ but when Makoto does let himself peer up, gradually, almost _absentmindedly_ at first in all of his unrest, Haruka thinks it's like watching someone on the verge of winning the lottery. Haruka tears the hand down from his face, revealing the last number and _the winning smile._ The face to say it all. 

Makoto's face completely lights up when he figures it out.

" _Haru_?"

At the call of his name, Haruka lets the happiness spill completely across his face, eyes uncomfortably squinted, jaw aching from smiling so much, trying his best to subdue it all before realizing that he just _can't_. He can't, because, _well—_

"I'm going to Tokyo, too."

"Haru..." Is all Makoto can seem to say at first, the motions of his mouth either completely inaudible or too choked up to make out coherently.

 _"Haru_!" He lets go of Haruka's hand next, scaring the latter for just the smallest instance in time, before wrapping his arms around him in a giant hug. Haruka almost yelps when Makoto manages to lift him up altogether, sending his tipped toes right off the ground completely. It's not a moment that lasts long, but it happens _again_ and _again_ , to the point where it's making Haruka kind of dizzy, actually, but he doesn't mind. He's _far_ from minding. He just hugs Makoto back, digging his hands into the back of his blazer as his best friend spins him around and around. And he can't help but think that, _again_ , they're crashing into each other in this spot like before.

Except when Haruka closes his eyes, imagining the bursting neon of fireworks, _because there really might as well be fireworks right now,_ he doesn't flinch like before. When he sees the Makoto from that day saying, _'I'm going to a university in Tokyo,'_ eyes lowered and saddened, it only makes his chest lurch a little bit, because he has other reasons for bigger butterflies now. And because as much as he'll never ever forget the first—and hopefully last—time Makoto _let go_ of his hand, as much as he'll never forget each second and sequence of their fight, he thinks, ever so briefly, that this place can be made new again.

“Didn’t I tell you?” Haruka tells Makoto, as he finally puts him down. He’s just a bit breathless from having the air practically squeezed out of his lungs.

“Tell me what?”

“That this place isn’t bad luck.”

Makoto doesn’t answer Haruka, but he does take the liberty of planting a kiss, their first for the ledge on the hill. When Haruka kisses him back, gentle as to not break their recent string of good fortune, he decides that _nothing_ could possibly do that at this point anyway, and leaves him with more than a careful peck on the lips.

“I love you, Haru.” Makoto says, on the verge of tears again, breathing hard out from their latest kiss.

“I love you, too.” Haruka tells him back, a little louder than usual. 

And with one last look out at the sea before he goes back for another kiss, the same stretch of dark blue still resounding like that unsavory night in the summer, Haruka thinks that, _well_ , _maybe this view’s not so bad after all_.

 

* * *

 

As Makoto leans over Haruka in bed and presses a kissed ‘ _thank you’_ on his cheek, he decides to just leave them all over his face altogether.

“Makoto…” Haruka eeks out, unable to keep up with the onslaught of kisses. Feeling the rush of heat rise up in his face, he manages to kiss him back just once before falling back on the pillow and letting Makoto drag his unspoken _‘I’m so ridiculously, impossibly, terribly, and irrepressibly happy’_ down his neck with the breathy heave of his lips. And as Makoto stops and shifts his weight off of the other boy, covering his face with his hands and shaking his head, Haruka forces himself off the sheets to sit up with him. 

“Sorry.” Makoto laughs a little, tearing his hands down from his face and tracing the skin on Haruka’s bare thighs. “We’re supposed to be celebrating.”

“It’s okay.” Haruka just lays a kiss under Makoto’s chin and waits for him to compose himself.

“I just can’t believe it.” Makoto says. “I can’t believe you’re going to Tokyo, too.”

That squint in Makoto’s eye has returned, but the tinge is different this time around—Makoto just seems drunk off all of this, trapped in a dizzy-headed happiness that’s been missing throughout this uncertain winter. And as Haruka pulls Makoto back down on top of him, he thinks it might not be so bad to join him in this flurry of _good feelings_ , and that, well, maybe he’s already there to begin with. With another kiss, sweet and sure, sure of the fact that, _‘Yes, I really am going to Tokyo, too,’_ Haruka engulfs Makoto just a little bit more before the latter takes his turn between his _thank you’s_ and _I love you’s._

 _‘Thank you,’_ Makoto kisses Haruka again, grazing his cheek and the plush of his lips.

And ‘ _I love you,’_ he motions, tightening the grip of his interlaced fingers.

And _‘Thank you,’_ he says with every wordless sigh, leaving extended smooches on Haruka’s favorite places.

And “I love you, ” whispered just between the two of them, in the type of bed space they’ll surely encounter together again in the future.

Makoto just whispers this over and over again in his own ways, ‘ _I love you’_ and _‘thank you’_ with _‘Haru’_ mixed in like a reverent chant _._ Their faces are so close that Haruka can still see the slight puffiness of his reddened eyes, make out every hurried breath, excited for all the things to come, and hear every muddled call of his his name. And for a moment, Haruka has no idea of how to feel about seeing him so close, because surely, _surely_ they’ve been this way before, and there should be no reason for him to find the familiar sight of Makoto so absolutely _magnificent._

But he does, _he really does_ , because somehow, this is new to him. And surely, deep down, it must be for Makoto, too. Because as much as their ledge on the top of the hill can be made new again, and as much he can find more ways to dote on a boy he’s loved since forever, Haruka knows that being with Makoto will never _grow old._ He thinks to himself, as Makoto looks at him in the way he _always_ looks at him, that he’ll never grow tired of any of this.

“Congratulations.” Haruka whispers to him with a small smile, a bright little beam for his bright and beautiful boy.

And when Makoto really does look like he’s on the verge of crying this time, he recovers well enough and just offers one back with a short huff of breath.

“You know, if you’re going to look at me like that in Tokyo, I’m not sure how long I’ll last there.” Makoto jokes, kissing Haruka on the tip of his nose.

“Too bad, then.” Haruka says, kissing him right back.

_‘Because, you know, I’m going to Tokyo, too.’_

_‘And there’s just no doubt about that.’_

 

 


End file.
